Man, Enough! Busting Stereotypes about Men - Men-Verse 1

Man, Enough! Busting Stereotypes about Men - Men-Verse 1

What does it mean to be a man? We know this sounds like the intro of every ‘mard ko bhi dard hota hai’ PSA video but in a society that is struggling with gender identity, this is a very relevant question that needs answering.


Does the ability to bench 100 or curl 75 make you a man? Does starting random fights or itching your crotch in public make you a man? Does helping an old aunty carry a heavy bag make you a man? Does sacrificing your seat on a train so that a family can sit together make you a man? What is that innate quality that makes the male of our species a ‘MAN?’ Now you could argue that we are overthinking this and that the answer is simple. If you have a penis you are a man. XY - all the way.


If you were born with one of those things it becomes your job to take care of your house, become the breadwinner of the family, protect the weak and feed the young 3 square meals a day and pay for their education.  


We all call ourselves 'feminists’ in the fight for the parity of genders in our patriarchal society, but have you ever taken a moment to question the insane pressure and the heavy weight of expectations on every single human being born with a penis (by your definition, not ours)? It’s heavy and it’s not fun to live like that. Patriarchy is riddled with stereotypes of toxic masculinity and a bunch of ‘expectations’ from ‘MEN’ about how to be a ‘Good MAN’

Let’s take a look at some of these toxic masculine stereotypes, patriarchy preaches that we don’t question. 


P.S: We are not even touching on gender stereotyping of men (That is a conversation we will have in the future)


1. Man Up, Get a Job!


Ever tried being in your 20s, done with your education and found it hard to get employment?


Ever tried being a man who does not really conform to societal standards and wants to be a potter or an actor or a YouTuber rather than getting a stable 9-5?


If you have ever experienced either of these, you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy. 


The fake smiles you give to your distant relatives when they ask you “So when are you getting a ‘REAL’ job” cannot possibly be good for your mental health. 


Seeing your friends and cousins who have chosen a ‘normal path’, buy bikes and cars that you dream of owning is hard in itself, but imagine being compared to them by kitty party aunties (please aunty, We have all heard about your son Ramesh’s new promotion and his new car. I’ll take the bus for now- thank you very much.)


2. Are You Not Going to Get Up For This Old or Pregnant Person? (AKA “What has the world come to”)

OR ‘Could You Switch Seats’


If you are an elderly person or a pregnant lady who finds it hard to stand in a bus/metro, just a tap on our shoulder and 99.99% of us men will more than happily give up our seat. Our problem is not with you. Our problem is with the fans of yesteryears who love stereotyping us ‘guys these days’ as douches who have lowered the standard of masculinity. 


Now here is the thing, most of us are on our phones or listening to music or in general blanked out while on a public mode of transport. If we had seen that a person genuinely needed a seat, we would’ve moved- we don’t want you to patronise us, uncle! Please and thank you!


Second things second - If you need a window seat, ask for it during check-in. They will be more than happy to oblige. But our age and gender do not make it okay for you to ask us to move. You know what, it’s okay. On flights, we don’t mind giving up our window seats, but the side seats on trains? It’s not cool to ask us to move just because you got the upper berth. There is an option to select a lower birth when you book your tickets!!!!!!! DO THAT!!!


But we will move! Because we are men- and we do not mind sacrificing our comfort to make life easy for another person. Because if we don't, the next dialogue out of your mouth and in the minds of every other pair of eyes on us is 'What has the world come to?'. 


Yes, we determine the state of the world, because we like side seats on a train or because we were on our phones on a bus.  


That is not pressuring at all, we men-we have it easy in the world!



3. Men Don’t Cry

The main course is here! The OG toxic masculinity starter pack!


Do we need to spell this out for you now? This is so popular that this is the example used while explaining stereotypes. Well, scientifically speaking, crying is good for you. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain.


Boohoo men of the world- it’s not allowed for us! 


It’s not fun having to hold back your tears. And then some people dare to ask: 'Why do some guys get so emotional when they are drunk?'- because the world taught us not to be emotional when sober.

Life is hard. Funerals, breakups, getting cheated on, not making it to your dream school, not getting your dream job, your startup not being funded, not having abs like Hrithik or biceps like Dwayne - whatever the reason, men simply can’t, won’t, aren’t allowed to and don’t cry. This wonderful practice ladened with the sweet sweet flavours of toxic masculinity in a patriarchal society can’t possibly be bad for men’s mental health. Right? …. Right? 

Manhood is not easy. It is complicated, confusing, and cumbersome.


So let’s take a crack at lightening the load. Welcome to Men-Verse. A space for men, about men, by men. Here we will talk about anything and everything- Manhood. Jump aboard Captain - we want you to tag along for the ride.



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Don’t compromise on your skin, elevate your skincare game, and #BeThatGuy 

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